I had to pause a million times and gaze out the window before I could get my thoughts and emotions together. I had an excuse – for some reason, my glasses were getting foggy. I try to pretend that I’m tough and cold but when no one was looking, I cried.
I discovered what it was to fall in love again, to gaze into the eyes of some one so innocent. To see his purity and his genius all at the same moment. To feel giddy as he laughed and danced and spoke. It takes me back to the times when I used to read newspaper articles of him, watch his interviews, watch as his life was dissected, torn from its flesh in national television. To know that the world didn’t let him have his peace even when he fell down on his knees and wept to be left alone.
I am and will always be drawn to the magic he created – the power to move your body to his beats and to feel your soul come alive to his rhythm and roam free while his baby eyes (the only thing that was not scarred by world pressures) sparkled and spread joy. Inexplicable, uncontainable joy! I wish I knew him. I wish I could cover his ears for him to save him from the curses. I wish I could hold him and let him be the child he couldn’t. I wish I could love him for everything he was and everything he wasn’t. I wish we had nurtured him. He deserved everything. He got the opposite.
I’m sorry we ravaged who you were. I’m sorry we drove to jump over that cliff. I’m not sorry, though, that you showed us who you were and doing so, you made this world a better place.
RIP MJ. You will always be a part of how I look at the world!
6 Comments Add yours
Yea, whenever I think of MJ, it is this endearing feeling that I am overcome with. I have to say that his madness drew me to him! I was fascinated about the way he just didn’t feel at peace with who he was. But I wasn’t about to poke my fingers at him and say freak. It made me feel geniuses are real. Real people. I don’t think someone’s eccentricities should be put before their magic. And his record sales spoke for the devotions of his fans. I haven’t seen “This Is It”, but after reading your post, I will grab a copy and watch.
It is a must watch! 🙂 He was preparing for what would have been the BIGGEST concert the world would’ve ever seen! 🙂 I completely agree that it should have been and should always be magic 1st. Eccentricities later! 🙂
Thanks Marie 🙂
Thank you so much! You couldn’t have said it better. I wasn’t a fan till the day he died-I don’t know exactly why I love him so much now-when it’s too late. I’ve had a lot of catching up to do but I’m up to speed.
I’d do anything to help vindicate him. I pray, send emails and letters,comment on every blog that touches me, almost all. Tell me what else to do and I’ll do it.
Not much, huh?
So many don’t even know how much we’ve lost. How blind and deaf they are!
SB, I hear you. He is vindicated just by all the things you do and I’m sure he’d have a right old giggle and hug for you. Thank you for keeping his magic alive in your heart! 🙂 You are doing more than you realise! 🙂
Hugs for that comment! 🙂