I was talking to a friend’s mom the other day.
What are you doing these days?
Aah nothing. Just … you know. Writing, reading, drawing, picking up random online fights … Stuff you do when you’re jobless
Still making lists then?
Aah aunty, you know me too well.
Why not settle down, beta? I’m sure there must be someone nice out there who’ll put up with your eccentricities.
I make lists aunty, how does that make me eccentric?
(Ignoring me) How about if you find a nice list-maker? The founder of yellow pages? How about that guy from that Day Zero list you keep talking about?
(Rolling my eyes) What makes you think they’re guys?
Well, they probably came up with the idea because they don’t like asking for directions.
How did you figure that one out?
(Impatient clicks) You see men, they map everything down in lists so that they don’t get lost and never have to ask anyone anything. Even though they secretly love getting lost. Makes them feel … adventurous … you know? (Even if they’re not) And they like all things in one place so that they don’t have to do all that work of asking and talking. You know? That’s why you’ll never see a man complain if you put him in a room with a TV, an internet connection, an iPad, a loaded fridge, some lotion and tissues. All within an arms distance from his easyboy.
So are you going to marry him?
I’m not convinced by your arguments.
Is Mr. Day Zero a girl?
I rest my case.