You are a Bangalorean If

You know how being Bangalorean is a matter of pride, drilled into you from when you could say “poda”. Imagine my thrill when #YouAreBangaloreanIf became a trending topic on Twitter. My usually lazy self was suddenly inspired to actually get to writing something.

You are Bangalorean If

1) You’ve tasted Death by Chocolate at Corner House
2) The only other city you can tolerate is Mysore
3) You have a coffee or chai shop where the uncle serves you “the usual” before you can even sit down
4) You hate the Mumbai Indians more than you hate your Ex

5) You worship Annavaru and his little boy Puneet
6) You know what a rivalry between Josephs, JNC, MCC and Christs means.
7) You walk around Lalbagh attempting to lose weight and then wait for 45 mins to dig into sinful breakfast at MTR
8) You order 5 coffees in 10 minutes at Airlines

9) Your idea of a long drive is to the Airport at midnight
10) You mentally rehearse your approach before talking to an auto driver.
11) You’ve given out the NIMHANS number as your personal cell number and then cracked some joke about a basket of fruits
12) You measure distance in minutes and hours and not in kilometers
13) A pitcher at Pecos or Guzzlers completes your week
14) You buy all your books at Blossoms
15) All your bars play Classic Rock
16) You remember Plaza and Galaxy Theatres
17) You’ve attended at least one play each at Alliance Francaise and Ranga Sankara
18) You still quote “Yella Okay. Cool Drink Yaake?”

19) You randomly start singing “You pick the time. Tick Tick Tick Tick” whenever someone wants to know when to meet you.

20) You take your dosas with red chutney and you take your coffees by two!

What would your list look like?

72 thoughts on “You are a Bangalorean If

      1. You just said it ! After months of leaving blore, the very thought of heading back for a weekend was just so exciting. In fact, the rush that hit my nerves when I disembared my train at majestic and boarded one of our proud orange volvos. Wow! That’s a feeling no other city can offer \m/ Nothing like it.. No matter where life leads me to, Bangalore always will remain as my First Love!!!

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  1. I can appreciate the reason for so many of us to be put off by “poda”. But Bangalore has changed so much over the last 25 years that being put off by “poda” is least our problems. πŸ™‚ Alwa ri?

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    1. Karthik, you’re absolutely right. In an attempt to keep it my personal top 20 list, I’ve left out quite a lot of things that are Bangalorean. Avenue road is amazingly Bangalorean!

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  2. 1) Weekend college trips with da boys = Nandi Hills/Maddur CCD
    2) You’ve atleast once had Lalbagh stall grape juice/cup ice creams (a little 90’s but still…)
    3) You compete with Mumbai’s vada pav scene by telling ppl to try our V.V.Puram’s Thindi Beedhi
    4) You hate it but have learnt to accept your North Indian friends calling it Dosa instead of Dosey
    5) Won’t spare them tho, if they call your mother tongue Kannad instead of Kannada
    6) You know atleast 5 different ways to spell “Gobi Manchurian” (and of course none of them are right)
    8) Biryani lovers worship Shivaji military hotel
    9) You’ve visited Avenue road either for second hand textbooks or for seeeray angadis
    10) The phrase “Vidhyaarthi Bhavan nalli kaali dosey” sets your mouth watering
    11) Brahmins nalli double strong kaapi is the ideal pit-stop after Sunday morning cricket
    12) New Years eve Brigade or MG’s beed-beedi alldu pub hopping madodu was/is on your to-do list
    13) You know atleast 5 engineers personally. okay 10
    14) You know ppl who are/were in a metal/rock band or are yourself in one and you’d be surprised when your North Indian friends whom you’ll meet later in life have no clue who Joe Sat, Slash, or James Hetfield are. (again, very 90s…)
    15) For pirated CDs, movies, music, and stuff for all your gaming consoles, you’ve been to National market and surrounding shops
    16) Before online shopping came, S.P. Road was you computer hardware haven. Chances are that it still is…
    17) Time-pass showki shopping andre Central and Garuda. Serious ‘annan maduve’ shopping adre Commercial Street raid!
    18) It terribly pisses you off that Northies who’ve stayed here their entire lives don’t speak an iota of Kannada, while you picked up fluent Hindi by the time you passed SSLC
    19) You’ve watched atleast one Jaggesh / Uppi / Kashinath movie secretly with your best buds ages ago and STILL talk about it.
    20) You can never complete a sentence in pure Kannada! πŸ˜€

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    1. WOW! Just WOW! I LOVE this list a lot more than my basic one. You’ve covered ever single thing that is the essence of a Bangalorean. Nimge Noor Nooru Namaste Gallu Saar. You should write your own post! This is SO cool. And to be fair, everyone loves the 90s! πŸ™‚

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  3. Dear Bangalorean ,you have beautiful and interesting posts.I am glad you liked my poem (treacherous surmise..Wishing you a delightful future.Jalal

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  4. Goodness, this cracked me up “You worship Annavaru and his little boy Puneet”, I laughed so hard!! I have to write my version someday πŸ™‚ Have done the Lalbagh walk and then gone away and had a dozen ambodas, or ambvadas at MTR!! Sigh…. seems like another life now! Your writing is very evocative, look forward to more.

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    1. It’s really the little things that make this city so wonderful. A lot of people complain that you have to cut through layers and layers to see what I see. You should make a list like this for all the cities you’ve lived in.

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  5. How territorial we were – we lived in Cantonment and didn’t know anyone who lived in Malleswaram, Basavangudi or (unthinkable) beyond that.

    The first “supermarket” in Bangalore … does anyone remember Kalpataru on Infantry Road?

    Koshy’s for Appam and Stew on Sunday mornings

    The Three Aces restaurant on MG Road (South Parade as we knew it then) where mom and dad took us for special occasions

    Liberty, Plaza, Empire and Rex – the fabulous quartet of movie theaters

    Walking past the Golden Threshold bungalow on St Marks Road (it’s a petrol pump now) and wishing that you lived in a house like that

    Blue Fox where Shyam and the West Wind played.

    Sunday vegetable shopping in Russell Market

    Albert Bakery on Mosque Road for light-as-air cakes and fresh-baked bread.

    Sak’s Library on Mosque Road and Lusitania Cold Storage on Cole’s Road.

    And finally, does anyone remember glimpsing the little red Austin Mini shooting past on Brigade Road in the 70’s – driven by a physically-challenged driver – and yearning for a car like that?

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    1. Su, OMG! Yes yes yes and yes. These are beautiful memories you have had and it’s tragic that so many of these landmarks are disappearing. Your comment is worth a post all in itself. I hope you do write about it – it seems the only way to keep the memory of Bangalore alive !

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  6. Somewhat off the topic – I remember my mother saying that she was introduced to the Maharajah of Mysore at some state do in Mysore circa 1920. I have an idea it was the same occasion when she met the then Prince of Wales.

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    1. In the south, we are/were all best friends with the British. Especially the Mysore Maharajah (he passed away recently, leaving no heirs). But every year, he would go on a procession, showing off the Astons and Royces he received from the Queen.

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  7. I am American, and thus don’t understand most of the list, which is as it should be, except one: walk to lose weight until you eat a big break breakfast at… That I can relate to. The others fascinate me. I love it!

    Visiting from Holistic Wayfarer’s site where you liked a post on race featuring me.

    Best regards,
    Elizabeth

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    1. Hey Elizabeth! Thank you for your comment. I think you need to have visited Bangalore to understand some of these things but – mostly they feature really bad movie songs that are so bad, you love them. Where do you eat breakfast on your long walks?

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  8. Interesting Blog. Bangalore, hmmm. Though French my grandmother was born in Jowra, her father worked for the Maharadjah of Gwalior and I was born in Karachi. Later lived in Kenya. Asante sana for your blog.
    Brian

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