I know, I know. I’ve already tried to create regular post ideas in order to get me to write more. And they have failed, miserably. But hey, I’m spending so much of time at work every week – being online, overhearing things I probably shouldn’t, nurturing giggle fits – this could just work, right?
So this week I thought I’d write all the things I’ve heard or seen that have made me nearly spit out my hot tea.
1) “They’re not that talented but that that last minute quickie gave them a semi” – talking about a local football game the rival team won which put them in the semi-finals
2) “Oh my God dudes, this Gusvinder is too badass dude. That old man went ring-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding and TAPAR! What a scene!” Seems the office has come on board the Breaking Bad Train
3) Colleague 1 – Dude, what’s your gaming name? I’ll add you
Colleague 2 – Cock
Colleague 1 – What?
Colleague 2 – Cock dude. Who doesn’t want cock? Come on, it’s that Heisenberg speech!
Colleague 1- Oh, you mean coke
Colleague 2 – Yes, that’s what I said. Cock.
4) “I don’t know why he has to detail every single thing he does in the gym, like he’s so macho. I just want to tell him – Dude, unless you fall of the treadmill or drop the weights on your face, I don’t want to know”
5) “For the last time, this is not lipstick. It’s a lip conditioner. It’s like pimped up chapstick. For men”
6) Colleague 1 – Why is there an England Flag on your desk?
Colleague 2 – Oh Britain and India have had like a thing like forever now. You didn’t know?
7) “Need a shrink? Go to a woman and she’ll psychoanalyse you for free and then try to save you. Win win dude”
8) “Have you heard the new Miley Cyrus song? Racking Ball yaar, What a masterpiece!”
10) “You need to first master the art of thinking to think outside the box. Dumbass”
(If you have a list you’d like to share, or if you have ideas for top tens I could write up, don’t forget to leave a comment!)