Masterchef Australia Here I Come

30 Day Writing Challenge

Those of you who know me outside of this labyrinth know that for a long time I steered clear of anything that seemed too domestic. Being from the third world where women have a stereotype we have to live up to, my daily routine included slapping said demands with a trout. Which meant I steered clear of the kitchen. When I was in Africa though, I had to learn to cook. If I had a choice, I’d live off cereals but I was living sometimes in the middle of a National Park, sometimes on the foothills of Kili, sometimes in little huts in the arid villages near Dodoma . It meant I had to be fit and fed. The luxury of a take away meal – non-existent!

If there’s one thing I’m known to be, it’s methodical. While the task of preparing a meal seemed daunting, I was determined to take baby steps till I made something that would make me feel like Nigella Lawson, more specifically, Nigella Lawson in this GIF.

Nigella Lawson

And would you know it, I did manage my first pinterest worthy dish. Stay with me for the big reveal at the end of this post. But for now, this is how it happened.

Step One – Empty the pantry on to the kitchen platform

Step Two – Arrange the items according to their type, size and colour. Be a complete OCD freak about it

Step Three – Stare at the utensils and then the vegetables and then the utensils and then the vegetables and then the utensils and then the vegetables. They are bound to become what they needed to be. If there’s anything Disney movies has taught me, it is to believe

Step Four – Start to panic. It’s close to midnight and you haven’t got anything done yet. Resort to munching on raw veggies and wondering why the god damn food won’t cook itself like mum promised they would.

Step Five – Lose your shit

Never say no to Panda

Step Six – Go through the five stages of grief.

Step Seven – A light bulb goes off in your head. Last minute panic is the best source of inspiration. I promise.

Step Seven Point Five –  Find bread. But it in the toaster and stare at it without break so that you don’t burn the toast. When it’s a nice golden brown, take it out, slather it with a generous knob of butter. 

Step Seven Point Six – Time to unleash the top secret ingredient – it’s what takes a normal dish extraordinary.

I swear this is how my face looked that evening

Step Eight – Devour said masterpiece! NOM NOM NOM!

I couldn’t believe my luck. I think staring at the ingredients I had helped my creative mind put together some of the most simple ingredients to make one of the best dishes I have ever tasted. Of course, I could be biased but all it takes is 3 ingredients and you can purr with satisfaction once you’re done savouring it.

TADAAA! Disaster cook to Masterchef in less than 3 minutes! You can thank me later!


And here is the Buzzfeed link for the article!

19 Comments Add yours

  1. Hi-

    I love the way you give yourself challenges with time limits. Very motivating. Your blog is very amusing.
    Thanks for visiting my blog posts and posting likes on them. 🙂


  2. Dylan says:

    Perhaps it’s my weak American taste buds, but I applaud you for being able to handle that strong Vegemite!


    1. cupitonians says:

      Pretty much everyone but Australians have that reaction! They pretty much look at me like I’m a basket case. So I can’t blame you!


  3. I love your post!! Sooooo good!!


    1. cupitonians says:

      YOU are sooooooooooo goooood! Thank you !


  4. colonialist says:

    Too advanced for me to try, I’m afraid. It involves applying heat, and putting things on top of things. Beyond my capabilities.


    1. cupitonians says:

      We should apply for the anti-masterchef award! I bet your plain bread will win over my vegemite one!


  5. White Pearl says:

    haha that was hilariously awesome !! Had a fun time reading it.


    1. cupitonians says:

      Thank you. Can I interest you in gourmet toast?


  6. seeker says:

    Ta Da it is…. love that cartoon


  7. omg … The first time I saw those Panda cheese commercials a few years back, I couldn’t stop crying (from excessive laughter!!!) … You are just too funny! Thanks – you made my day 😉


    1. cupitonians says:

      Haha. thank you so much! I LOOOOVE those ads!


  8. heartofsunproductions says:

    I love your posts. They are so funny, originals and deep for me 🙂 thanks


    1. cupitonians says:

      Aww. Thank you!


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