My family is slightly eccentric. I have two aid and development workers for parents who epitomize the indie culture. So we never spent money on branded clothes, none of us have surnames, just two names that are unique to us and that cause a lot of paperwork problems. But what makes my family so weird is the bizarre and utterly random conversations we have. I have often thought of making it a series. Maybe I will.
This is an actual conversation that happened when Lex (my brother in law) came to India to meet my parents before the big “I do” As a present (it’s part of our culture to always buy presents for everyone in the family), he had picked up a lonely planet guide to England that my dad quickly immersed himself into. He loves history and geography and just random facts that no one would ever know about – like the number of deaths by shark in a year.
Dad – Oh this is great. Thank you. Is there a map of England in it?
Lex – Yes, it’s right there in the first page.
Dad – Can you show me where you’re from?
Lex – Sure, I’m from Great Yarmouth. It’s over there, in the East Coast.
Dad – East? Is it towards the North or the South?
Lex – Erm, I’m not sure. Look for Norfolk.
Dad – Oh here. I found it.
Lex – Yeah, it’s right on the coast.
Dad – Oh yes, I see. You’re from the Middle East.
Lex – What?
Me – (hysterical but trying to be serious) England only has a North and a South. There’s no middle. It’s too small an island.
Dad – (not understanding why I was laughing) You come here and look at this map. See, this is the north. This is the south. Yarmouth is right in the middle. He’s from the Middle East.
Cue death by laughter.