I am speaking the Kween’s Anglish!

So, I have to do an IELTS exam because I need to be born in an English speaking First World nation to be considered a native speaker. Even though a LOT of native English speakers say things like “Me and Andy” and “She’s married with a dentist.” I wonder how many “native speakers” actually score a 6 and above, as stipulated by every English Speaking border security. Anyway, that’s my rant of the day done. And to show you that I also look at big picture, here is a series of photos I’ve taken on my rides to and from work.

Race
“Mom Says No Race. Dad Says No Grace” Poor guy’s caught between a rock and a hard place.
Pancher
A far cry from the usual signs that read puncher instead of puncture. I think they were just – tyred! Haha, get it? Okay, I’ll stop now!
Logic
Unbeatable Logic
Carromance
Woah – caught in a car romance?
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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart! Ouch, it hurts!
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The back of the auto is a famous Bollywood quote said by a villain and yes, that is an actual coffin in the seat!
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Guess Jesus is never going to take the wheel!
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WARE your helmet and save your head.
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We’ll wait till he’s under alcohol.
Better hurry to the nearest dictionary and see what the 'burry' is about. Seriously though, Hurry Burry is one of my most favourite Anglo India phrases of ALL TIME!
Better hurry to the nearest dictionary and see what the ‘burry’ is about. Seriously though, Hurry Burry is one of my most favourite Anglo India phrases of ALL TIME!

I LOVE ENGLISH!

71 thoughts on “I am speaking the Kween’s Anglish!

  1. Reblogged this on Ace Friends News and commented:
    #AceFriendsNews says just love this post and reminds me so much of my time in `Pakistan ‘ the roads ,the vehicles and the crazy hanging on to the buses.

    Personally many people cannot speak the `Kween’s English ‘ even though they were born in this country. Also people in glass houses like our illustrious `border agency ‘ should not throw stones if they cannot speak your language. I always try to as they say `When in Rome do as the Romans Do or Say ‘ #mustread
    #cupitonians

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  2. Great post! I can totally relate. I just took pics at the local Chinese run store in town. Mind you, I am in Serbia. I am one of the few that can see the problems with the English on the products they are hawking! Will post a blog about it soon.

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    1. Haha. I’m sure the Queen would NOT approve of your comment! Although, I do wish it would get me out of taking this test ||whine|| I should invent a hurry burry curry – maybe this is the idea that will make me RICH!

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  3. As someone studying to teach ESL, I completely agree that it is utter craziness that you have to take an IELTS exam to prove your English proficiency! English is becoming more and more of a global language, and many countries like India are beginning to use it as a lingua franca. I think that in the coming years there will definitely have to be more reform made to current language policy, because our current standard of what constitutes a “native speaker” just isn’t going to cut it in our modern world.

    But don’t worry, I’m sure that you will pass the exam with flying colors πŸ˜€

    -C

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    1. Thank you so much C. I have taught English in Tanzania, Kenya and India. I have a TEFL certification and I still have to take this stupid exam to show that I can actually read, write and speak it. I do hope that there is a reform. I completely agree with the points you are making!

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  4. Eye spade England very wheel. May bee eye can heal ewe if ewe won’t. I premise eye am god. Lot meow no and eye wheel come two you’re rest queue.

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  5. Fun posting! Truly, untrained native speakers are often terrible with grammar and make lots of colloquial mistakes. But, like many Indians, you are basically a native speaker of English too, are you not? I assume you grew-up bilingual or even tri? Fun signs too; I always look for those around the world. Best wishes. D

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    1. Haha, Darren, I spoke English at home because my parents are from two different communities and their common language was English. This is the thing you’ll find in India and when Indian’s meet around the world, we speak English to each other. It has been our official language for centuries. However, yes, I do speak 3/4 other Indian languages and 2 world languages apart from English. Thank you so much for your wishes!

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    1. Haha. Yesterday, the “examiner” said laysee and I was like “what? lazy?” just to clarify and then when I came back out it just struck me that :O OMG! She’s going to think I was correcting her! D’OH!

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    1. No it isn’t πŸ™‚ It comes from local slang where we rhyme an actual work with something that sounds like it, just to make a point. So in Hindi and a few other languages, a sample statement would be “What is this waste paste thing you’re talking about?” . Usually the rhyming word is gibberish. In this case, I think the “hurry” is trying to be emphasized.

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  6. Ha ha! What an excellent post, and wonderful photo collection. I LOVED it.
    Some years ago I spent nine months teaching English to an Italian doctor who wanted to work in England. He was preparing for an exam and then found out…. he did not need ANY English qualification to work in the UK because he was a citizen of the European Union!!!!! Where is the logic in that? He was let loose on English patients and could hardly understand them.
    At the same time, I was once turned down for an English teaching job here in Italy because I “didn’t have a degree in English.” Ahem. I have a degree from Cambridge University in England – why would I need to do a degree in English when it is my mother tongue?
    Anyway, at least you know you’ll pass your silly IELTS exam with flying colours! πŸ™‚

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    1. Hahahaha. This is the thing that annoys me the most. This EU thing – because I walked into a lot of shops in York and didn’t understand a word they were saying because their English was so bad. But I’ve spoken English all my life and have to take the test. In fact, I made a few corrections on the form they had me fill and then realised, they’re going to deliberately mark me down because I am going to appear so cocky! It is ridiculous. Also, prepone IS a great word! I think it’d be a greater addition to the English language than twerk. Two other words that should be on there – updation and donators! πŸ˜€

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  7. Thank you for stopping by and checking out my blog, the starving artist/poet pleading for purchases of my ebooks. It is a necessary evil at times to advertise. Keep up the good work on your blog. Ann

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  8. I have to admit that my spoken English is pretty abysmal as I slip easily in and out of my regional accent.
    I don’t know why they call it the Queen’s English – she’s a bloody German!

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  9. Haha I feel you. English is my fourth language thought… Despite the fact that it’s the second official language in my country and I’ve been speaking the language since I was 6 years old, they didn’t think it was good enough for me to apply for anything in the UK. Oh well.. didn’t take the exam and my life still turned out OK ;D Your English is way better than many ‘native speakers’ I know, you’ll pass it with flying colours!

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      1. I speak Malay (the first official language in Malaysia), Iban (my mother tongue) & Cantonese with very little Mandarin as well. It’s pretty chaotic here with the languages πŸ˜‰

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        1. :O wow. I know what it’s like. I speak a couple of Indian languages as well as French and Swahili. I have been to Malaysia and it truly is a melting pot of all cultures isn’t it?

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          1. You’ve been to Malaysia? Interesting… when was it? I hope you enjoyed your time here. The Ministry of Tourism has been using the tagline ‘Malaysia Truly Asia’ for years now & I may be biased but I don’t think we’re exaggerating when we say it’s true ;p

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            1. No, you aren’t exaggerating at all. My great grandfather (whom I never knew) worked in KL before he shipped off his wife and daughter (my grandmum) to India. I was in Malaysia in 2012.

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  10. Hi, I like this, and this kind of stuff seems to be international.
    We have it in German, too.

    I will give you some German Anglicisms:

    Back Shop = bakery (Would be “BΓ€ckerei” or “Backwaren” in German)
    Bad Shop = Bath shop (Would be “BadgeschΓ€ft” in German)

    This is now a Kind of accepted language.
    But we have also lots of similar Language as you describe for English.

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