It feels like I have been on the edge of a nervous breakdown for the past two months – I can feel it simmering, boiling just below the surface, threatening to do me in at any time. It is a new feeling to me and most of it comes from me wanting to be in control of where my life is going. I know from experience that control and perfection it is a silly delusion and yet you hope that you can wave a magic wand and everything will be where it needs to be.
I have left everything behind to start from scratch in a foreign land. I have been in dangerous situations and lived to tell the tale. I have been cut off from home till climbing a tree once a week for signal was my only connection with the world. I rinse and repeat every time the fancy hits me. But this, this is an adventure on a whole new level.
It is scary and exhilarating. It is frustrating and joy inducing. It is such a mix and match of raw emotions that I feel challenged like I have never been before. To be yourself while being with another individual, how come they don’t tell you just how much work goes into it?
Long Distance has been a revelation and it has felt like a full time job. There are times when I’ve wondered at the resilience and perseverance of humans. How do we do it, how do we wake up in the morning and play at all the many things that need to be done to ‘live’. Are we an amazing race or just someone who’s survived by putting one foot in front of the other?
I read this amazing post this morning from the Intrepid Misadventurer about our obsession with Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full syndrome.
“ We’ve created social ecosystems to cater to this need of lives awash with our curated bliss, and perhaps that is part of the truth, but definitely far from any absolute! Aren’t the biggest changes borne out of reaching rock-bottoms? of being thrust against the wall and finding the way back? Hasn’t ‘necessity’ always been the mother of invention? Where does personal growth, re-evalution and honest re-assessments have a chance without the ability to see the possibility of something better? Think relationships, think finance — the two most volatile aspects of life as we know it! The glass half empty is sometimes a leveller- a realist’s perspective, it’s a chance to acknowledge that real problem solving is hardly something that swathes itself in mindless positivity and hedonism. So much of our modern maladies stems from the fact that our generation lacks the grit that our forebearers had and I, being no social expert, see the hand of complacent pleasure seeking in it!“
Read the full article here
End Rant 😀