So, yes, I already have an old and bitter soul. We both know that. Who am I kidding? However, I feel like whatever youthful joy I had is being edged out in favour of being even more old and bitter than my normal state. Here’s a few things that have really pushed me over the edge during the last lockdown.
1. Old Digital Platforms
Facebook? Hotmail? Twitter? I am OVER IT! It feels like I do a lot of maintenance on accounts I don’t ever want to use, but which people refuse to move on from. It’s too toxic, too boring, and the world has moved on. People should update their software!
Why aren’t they longer? Why don’t we take them more often? I feel like in the world that greets us on this side of the pandemic should be more nap friendly. And while you’re at it, can we petition to make it at least 3-4 hours long? TYVM!
3. Shows About Serial Killers
If I am peer-pressured into watching one more show about a serial killer, I swear to god! I can feel my wrinkles doubling, my greys greying, my bitter side being unleashed in full force. At this stage, I feel like my eyes are going to be permanently stuck mid eye-roll.
4. The Thought Of Social Activity
After a year of lockdown, my previously very introverted self has reverted to a very, very, VERY introverted version of itself. My social anxiety is through the roof at just the thought of dressing up, small talk, drinking, pretending to care at the many upcoming social events we’re going to be a part of. Not sure there’s a solution, other than to just accept that premature ageing is inevitable.
5. Job Applications
When we were in university, they promised us that if we just persevered and put up with this tough period of our lives, we’ll never have to deal with essay writing or stress again. What a bunch of bare faced liars. I cannot tell you how long-winded and taxing a single job application is, especially if you were foolish enough like me to change countries so often and get degrees and jobs in third world countries that don’t seem to translate as “good enough” for the UK.
6. House Hunting
I’ve always had a goal of owning my own house. I guess when you have something like that as a goal, you don’t really think of anything but actually owning a nice space you’re going to make your own. Now that we’re at a stage where buying a house is a short-term goal rather than some obscure “at some point” time in the future, I’m faced with things I never thought about. Things like – Who are my neighbours? Will I get to walk around in the dark and feel safe as a person of colour and a womxn? Are there nice, friendly local cafes I can make my second home in? Will I constantly get ogled at for being brown and in an interracial relationship? How diverse and multicultural is the area? WHYYYYY! Why must every single thing be so complicated! Bless my rising blood pressure and creaky knee joints!
7. Modern Conspiracy Theories
There used to be a time when my self-care routine included being lost in conspiracy theories that were pure creative genius. Now, no matter how hard I look, there aren’t any good conspiracy theories to tide us through the tough times. Have people stopped being so clever and creative? All conspiracy theories now last about 2 minutes in the face of logic. In the good old days, we would last at least one night’s restless sleep. Bring back good conspiracy theories. Until then, I’m going to have to stop premature ageing with a good dose of alien conspiracies.
Do you feel you are prematurely ageing with some of the things you have to face in 2021? Let’s have a discussion in the comments!