Around The World In 3 Pictures

I love the N-N-1 no matter how many entries we get in. All you need is one different perspective of the same date and the same time. I don’t really have the words to express the powerful emotions it evokes in me. I hope you enjoy this edition as much as I did.

 

I sought out a quiet place for my picture this time around. I love graveyards. There is a calm serenity that is hard for city dwellers to find. Though, truth be told, I would love a graveyard if I lived on top of a mountain. This is one of the Catholic graveyards in Lafayette. The Catholic ones tend to have more older trees and rolling landscape. It is almost enough to make me consider becoming Catholic and be buried rather than cremated. But the odds are that I shan’t. I wonder if I can find a graveyard on a mountaintop to visit.

Norm Houseman, Classical Gasbag

Milo drove me to and from the barcode barn

For my first checkup

Since being released.

 

I was surprised to discover

That I missed the place

With all the rules and

Cannots that go with it.

 

I even missed Nurse Grumple of the Shiny Pate,

With the sour disposition and fishy eyes.

Ready to slap you if no one was watching.

I must plan my revenge!

 

They asked me if I had had any problems.

I said “No.”

They asked me if I was taking my meds.

I said “Yes.”

They asked me if I had found a new job yet.

I said “No.”

I lied. I am back working as a bartender.

I also failed to mention the bottle of Jim Beam Milo was holding for me in his car.

 

I may skip my next session.

Natalie Garvois

 

I inadvertently picked an N-N-1 without realising how many firsts I would be capturing on my phone. Normally, I would pick a normal day with the hope that it would spread the philosophical message of ‘what’s boring and normal for you is exotic and exciting to someone else’.

This day in history marked the first trip abroad for my 4 month old niece – first trip for her parents with her on a flight, her first flight, using her first passport for the first time, visiting a beach for the first time, and the first time she did a flawless crawl. You get the picture.

This picture is also a reminder to me to actually get out and do things that are on my list. I knew of this city beach (Cologne is nowhere near the ocean, this is a naturally occurring beach by the river Rhine) but only got around to visiting it when Isabelle was here. And now that it’s getting colder again, I regret not spending every summer weekend there.

Me.

Time For Another Adventure Through Space And Time

I’ve exhausted all my money on “budget-friendly” holidays this summer but have still not a made a dent on the colossus that is my Wanderlust. The time is ripe for another N-N-1, an opportunity to see various parts of the world for FREE!

For the uninitiated, N-N-1 is the brainchild of one of my best friends Norm Houseman who blogs over at Classical Gasbag. The genius idea (some would say I only think that cause he’s one of my favourite people, but those people would be wrong #hatersgonnahate) is an attempt to see through the lens of the blogosphere where they are at that moment, whatever they are doing.

Simply put, bloggers from all over the world take a photo on a select date and time, whatever timezone they are in. The result is a magnificent online kaleidoscope of postcards that I am quite frankly addicted to.

You can find some of our older N-N-1 masterpieces by clicking on the link.

If you want to participate, please take a photo on SEPTEMBER 1st 2018 at 5:00pm YOUR LOCAL TIME. Send me the photo along with a 100 -200 word ‘caption’ to labyrinthiroam at gmail dot com within a week and I will publish it.

Feel free to ask me any questions you may have about it, and to also invite any of your friends who you think might be interested!

Good luck! Bonne Chance! Viel Glück! Sterkte! Buona fortuna! Selamat Maju Jaya! Bahati njema! Buena suerte! And so on!

 

You’re the puppet

So we saw a lot of Anti-Trump posters/protest signs at the Christopher Street Day/Cologne Pride weekend last week.

Given this state of the news this week, thought this is more relevant than ever!

Word Of The Week: Die Eierlegendewollmilchsau

Learning a new language is a permanent fixture on my bucket list, and so I have tried to learn (and then slowly forgotten) as much as I could language-wise in every country I’ve lived in. With the exception of Thai, where the same word could mean fish sauce or pussy juice based on the tone, I’ve managed to make some headway into small talk, at the very least.

And so, here I am in Germany, learning the good old Deutsch. And while it drives me crazy most days, there are some true gems in the language. Take for example their strange addiction to combining a tonne of words together to make an entirely new word.

This has resulted in the creation of a stunningly beautiful WORD – Die Eierlegendewollmilchsau.

Eier = Egg. Legende = Laying. Woll = Wool. Milch = Milk. Sau = Sow/Pig.

The word means precisely it’s literal translation. An egg laying, wolly, milk giving pig. This is the German word for ‘A Perfect Person’ or a superwoman, someone who can do everything and do it amazingly!

“Not only does my boss expect me to work on 3 projects at the same time, he also expects me to make him coffee, babysit his children and answer my phone at all times of day. What does he think I am? Die Eierladendewollmilchsau?!!”

Also interestingly, the article ‘the’, takes on the female form in German. Which means that this Eierladenwollmilchsau is a woman! But of course!

The Cologne House Hunt

If I have only one complaint two complaints about Cologne, it’s that people smoke way too much, and the housing market is a complete nightmare. In no other country I’ve moved to have I felt the possiblity of being homeless so keenly!

To spare you the drama, let me just say that I’ve already been lucky enough to find a lovely house right in the middle of old town. Cobblestone streets, old buildings, reading nooks, live sports showings, birds, the river … I can’t really complain!

But getting here has been one psychological nightmare ride full of sleepless nights and anxiety ridden tears. It’s not just the housing market here is so limited or that most houses have been repurposed for students who have no desire to host couples, it’s also that scammers thrive in this situation.

I was approached by many of these with lovely photos of stunningly furnished houses for such reasonable prices you can’t help but respond. If I wasn’t so good at rooting out catfishers (it was literally my job for a while), I’d be a few thousand Euros poorer.

The approach was quite creative. They’d say they were European and had only just bought and furnished the house, but that they’d gotten an unpassable opportunity abroad. So they thought of renting their house out through AirBnb. However, if someone is interested in it long term, they could also do it through the same way.

Now, if you’re deseperate for a house and hear the words AirBnb, you automatically trust that this is legit. But if you’re someone who actually uses airbnb, you suddenly start to smell something dodgy!

I also came across a second scam where they ask you to transfer money through western union. Apparently bank statements are not legit proof you have enough money to pay for a house.

When I asked why a money transfer, this is what they said.

While I hope that no innocent house seeker buys into these thinly veiled scams, it definitely made good conversation starters. And for that, I’m grateful.