Brain Dead?

It’s possible you’ve missed this important piece of news on account of all the chaos Trump’s presidency has caused, and the social media explosion on account of Queen Bey’s twins. Good thing for you, you’ve got me.

Scientists (gosh, don’t you love them?) have discovered that completely locked-in patients, patients that have no control over their body, can now communicate thanks to this brain/computer interface that reads patients minds!

OMG, a mind reading computer. Right now, it can only read answers to yes or no questions, but … can you  imagine the future?

One of the patients who was being tested had his daughter visit him, She asked him if it was okay for her to get married to her boyfriend. The answer came back as a ‘no’ 8 out of 10 times. What blows my mind is not the father’s really strong rejection of her boyfriend, but the fact that she did what all children do – she kept asking the question till he got tired enough to get a yes.

Funny how we can manipulate parents, eh?

2012-10-29-05

Full report here: Completely ‘locked-in’ patients can communicate

I like play football

One of the perks of dating a teacher is hearing incredible stories from the classroom. Some are hilarious, some make you want to face-palm, but mostly, they’re stories of ingenuity. Children are so clever, and so resourceful, it’s no wonder they have to beat all creativity out of you. We can’t have a world full of geniuses walking around after all. 

One such story is about a class of young ‘uns. He asks each child a question in English. If the kid answers the question right, they get a name tag. Once this ritual is done with all the students, the class begins. 

Sample Conversation: 

Teacher: Hello, how are you? 

Student: I am fine thank you. 

Teacher: What is your favourite sport? 

Student (demonstrates kicking a ball): I like play football.  

A lot of students seemed to like football. Mr Teacher was pleased that unlike with other schools where he teaches English as a foreign language, these students seemed clever enough to not only understand his questions, but to also answer him appropriately. 

The next week when he was in class again, the conversation went something like this. 

Him: Hi. What is your favourite food? 

Kid 1-30 (demonstrates kicking a ball): I like play football! 

Turns out, the kids had learnt from their seniors to expect a foreign teacher to come teach them English. And if they were clever enough to learn a few choice phrases in English, they never need actually learn any English at all. Quite clever of these kids to do the absolute minimum to get by. I wish corporate life was similar. 

I vowed to take inspiration from these kids and apply it to my daily life. 

Dad: So when are you going to get married? 

Me (kicking imaginary ball with slightly too much gusto): I like play football! 

Life is so much easier now! 

 

What’s in a Name?

I am lucky to have always had a place of work that doesn’t require elaborate escape into your own world plans. In my previous office, I was for the first time subject to people who tried to kill each other every afternoon. Now, work does that to you – makes you a monster. But this was on a whole new level. When they weren’t busy playing TF2, they were busy creating ingenious words.

In this office, and apparently it’s a Thai thing, I work with Rong, Champ, Bird, Apple and One (Can you imagine how many ‘The One’ jokes you can make with that?). People’s names are so hard to pronounce that they adopt a nickname. In my three weeks here, not a day has gone by where I’ve dreamt of turning Thai (if one is allowed to change one’s culture and race) just so I could adopt a cool nickname.

This also means that I get the pleasure of having such conversations –

Colleague – Who conducted the meeting?
Me – It was Long!
Colleague – No, I mean WHO conducted it, not how was it!
Me – Yeah, that’s what I mean. It was Long.
Colleague – ARGH!

Me – I’m really struggling with this CMS. What do I do?
Boss – Don’t worry. P’Phol will lend you a hand whenever you have trouble.
Me – People are great and all, but how are they going to help me with code?
Boss – P’Phol’s a she, not a they!

Friend – How was your first day at work?
Me – It was amazing. I got to work on a Magazine. Thor really helped me with that!
Friend – Oh yes, you’re a regular Avenger now.

Thor

That’s another thing I have discovered. People add ‘P’ in front of name to mean brother or sister. Someone who is of your generation but slightly older. This in itself is fine but when you combine it with unfortunate nicknames (e.g. Now) you can imagine how hilarious it would be. Juvenile, yes. Still, hilarious.

On the other hand, if ever I get bored of learning about Thai etiquette and culture, I can always Google cool nicknames. What do you think of ‘Her Majesty’. I quite like the sound of that!

Damn Hormones!

Nephew – Princess Pea was crying today when I gave her some chocolate

Me – Why?

Nephew (dropping his voice to a whisper) – I don’t know. I think she got hormones.

(Things kids pick up while eavesdropping on conversations about your pregnant sister)

Overheard in Office

V – Dude. why are you playing this damn DOTA with your ice princess. Click, click, clicking away. Just join our game. The whole team is playing.

A – No. Leave me alone!

V – God, you’re such a clickhole!