Highway to Hell and Back

I always seem to have convenient excuses for not writing. So before I get on to it, let me list the great things that have happened to me over the past month.

1. I got a new phone – the elusive MI3.

An Indian company, Flipkart, bought up limited stock and then created around it some of sort of virtual Black Friday sort of scheme where the phones would only be on sale on Tuesdays, at 2pm and if you didn’t register and didn’t click ‘buy’ at the opportune moment, all the phones would be sold out in 2.5 seconds. A colleague of mine was one of the lucky guys who bought the phone. When we were all out for a team dinner, I jokingly said that the next time the sale was on, he should buy me one. Next thing I know, I’m the proud owner of the fanciest phone that has graced my inner circle. What do I do first? I get on Instagram (something I vowed I would never do!). But now I have a WordPress app as well so I can do small posts when they come to me. Too ambitious?

2.  I got a huge pay hike!

Explains why I could afford that phone in the first place! This also means I have to grow up and deal with the dreaded income tax department.

3. The boy is moving HERE!

He said I should allow him to experience my culture and my city the way I immersed myself in his. Don’t tell him I said this but something about that was so romantic, I couldn’t say no. Every other decision we make after this, we will do together and that is what truly excites me. Apart from the obvious societal annoyances of – “how can you live together pre marriage” and “oh he’s a white boy, let me charge him a billion rupees for something that costs 10”, of course!

Now on to the big news of how I got hit by a drunk driver on my way back from work. I ride a moped and this jackass took a U-turn on a huge road without any indication that he was about to turn. I saw him coming from the corner of my eye and so I swerved to avoid him therefore surviving and un-survivable accident. But my bike was completely totalled.

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I think what annoyed me most about it was that I had to pick myself up. Then the guy walks up to me, steals my keys and threatens to hit me. He didn’t expect that I knew the language and would lash out back at him. He threatened to take me to the cops (pointing in the opposite direction of where the station was). I told him my station was in the other direction and that we should go immediately. He changed the topic and said I was on the phone while riding. He smelt like cheap liquor.

There were a tonne of auto drivers on the road who snatched the keys back from him and told me to drive away as fast as I could. I didn’t want to leave but in that state, I did. The minute I got home, I told my parents and brother (who were at home for once). We wrote down our complaint, drove to the station, filed an FIR. It was the eve of our Independence Day and despite it being busy, the cops were really helpful.

Anyway, long story short they caught the car (the driver is absconding) and they have paid in part to fix my bike. I will spare you photos of my injury but everything is okay now and my bike runs smoothly and looks better than it has ever looked before.

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In other news, the Ganesha (Elephant God) festival has been going on in full swing. Loads of statues lighting up the whole place, happy people dancing – festival season in India is always such a treat. I went to a friends house and while standing on his 5th floor balcony, saw a Ganesha Statue rising in the dark as if to bless his devotees. It was a surreal experience.

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And if you haven’t made plans to visit Bangalore yet, here’s a good reason – it looks SO pretty in the rain!

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Hope you have all been well!

We Might Fall

The Sunrise This Morning in Bangalore
The Sunrise This Morning in Bangalore

Let’s go on an adventure. There are clouds to be jumped on, warm golden rays to be stolen, wings on whose back we can steal a ride.

We could drown in the crow’s feet that your laughter creates. You could twirl me around till we’re so giddy, it makes the world a breathtaking shade of magic. We could walk the journey of some obscure person and throw popped corn at each other while the black mirrors fill up with “must watch” moving pictures. We can tick off lists of movies, of books, of places to eat, sights to see, things that make us feel alive and full of purpose.

We could run around carelessly, tripping as we try to catch the sunshine in your hair and the sparkle in your eyes. We could don ourselves in explorer gear and go hunting for giggles – your giggles – that make me light headed and make me float off the ground.

We could go looking for the moon and have it tell us stories by the fireside. We could even accidentally run into the biggest adventure of them all –

We might fall.

The Unsent Letter

30 Day Writing Challenge

Dear Double D,

This is draft 478. The rest of the edits are locked somewhere in the far recesses of my mind. Probably. I can’t tell anymore. There’s a new feeling that drowns out everything else in my head and my heart now. I am happy.

The other day when you texted me about your new life – your new job, your fitness routine, your kids – I was genuinely happy for you. I did think that you were trying too hard to validate yourself but I decided to stop being judgemental. I was 2 parts shocked and 1/2 parts amused to learn that you named your kids what you said we should name ours. Your child’s favourite bedtime story is the one about me kidnapping a goat? I wouldn’t know what to make of that even if I tried. So I let it go. I like when you sound happy. I’ve never really wanted anything for you but the true joy of living. Everyone deserves it, right? This is not a lesson I learnt from you. But that doesn’t mean our relationship didn’t teach me anything.

When we would meet in secret, the wine tasted better, the night smelt better, our stolen kisses were more delicious. There used to be a thrill that comes from doing something no one else was aware of, like we were creating our own world. I was young and naive and believed in magic. You’d be pleased to hear that the love of magic is still there. The excitement of creating things together, even if it’s castles on passing clouds, it is alive within me. I have to thank you for showing me that love, like anything of beauty, shouldn’t be hidden. If it is, we’re juggling fake trinkets that look like love but aren’t really.

Because it was “our little secret”, there was no one I could talk to about it. Princess Pea knew, but then she has a great instinct about me. You wrote poems for me and played the piano on nights when I needed to calm down. You are and have always been gifted. You know how to speak to the heart and yet I learnt that as all consuming as love is, your friends and family are there for you and want to share in your life. Isolating them, as easy as it is, is a decision you will regret. I wouldn’t have learnt this if it weren’t for you.

I was never really angry that there was another woman. Or was I the other woman? We never really had that talk. You cut off all ties when it got too much for you. I never bothered trying. By then, you had taught me what it is to be strong and self respecting. I was confused for a few weeks and then instead of waiting and waiting, I started running. I started writing. I backpacked across Europe. Is there such a thing as reverse heartbreak? Maybe it’s just you who has this effect on people. When you called and said “Don’t go”, I realised you had genuinely loved me. I’m sorry you didn’t like that I moved on. It’s been over 7 years and when your best friend still teases me about how I made up the whole relationship in my head, I smile. I feel sorry for him. It’s not easy to live in deception. Not when you are someone’s best.

The “other” tried to talk to me when she found out that you married without her knowledge. You were still dating her and I never really got the chance to thank you for letting go of me so early into our wild affair. We did things that I heard you tell the youth from our church was not something “the Lord” approved of. I learnt that I never wanted there to be a day where I had to face up to my own double standards. The trick was to be true to yourself.  It was how things were with you that helped me realise what I wanted to do out of life and how I wanted my relationships to be. You’ve helped me in ways that I hadn’t suspected I needed. But oh did I need it.

I know my friends say I’m crazy for not hating you and for still thinking of you fondly. But I just can’t bring myself to be consummed with a feeling of self pity. I suppose I learnt then that life happens, people make mistakes, they hurt you. I learnt the best lesson of all from you – how to fully let go.

xx

_________________________

Draft 479

Dear Double D,

Thank you.

Love,

A.

Love is …

30 Day Writing Challenge

 

This will probably make you think of someone or remind you of yourself. Either way, you will spend a few minutes of deep contemplation in your head. This is for my WL – Happy Birthday you silly white boy!

Cartoon about what love is

Where’s my do-over?

A Do Over Button

Where is the reset button when you need one?

No, this isn’t a post about regrets but WOAH. Where has the time gone? I meant to write everyday for 30 days in November but it is Guy Fawkes day already and nothing. This is what extended weekends do to you.

31st October – Halloween
I went all out this time and created a scavenger hunt that last three hours and led to a treat give away at midnight and then a movie till 3am.
1st November – 4th November – A blur
The first was the celebration of the formation of the borders of our state. The 2nd-4th was the Festival of Lights – so fire crackers and this “gem” of a bomb shell found on the streets.

Hitler Firecracker

Have you experienced such black-holes of time where you’re staring at a workday dazed and unsure of what happened to your holiday? Now that it is nearing the end of the year, have you also been looking at your New Year’s resolution list and freaking out? No? Just me?

On that note, I’m looking for a few Guest Bloggers for this month. Want to write for me? Just leave a comment and I will get in touch with you. Also, keep your eyes peeled for an exciting Christmas give-away (so far this is just a grand plan but I feel more strongly about it this year).

About the blog everyday bucket list item? November 10th – December 10th. Public Promise! You can’t break these right? (I may really need your help with ideas too! HELP?!)

Have a great week ahead my lovelies!