There are Words

There are words out there that aren’t encircled in anatomically incorrect hearts and bright red fonts, words that you don’t have to pay millions for – just as there are days where saying “I love you” isn’t just a thing you do because Hallmark DEMANDS it! I know there are. I wish I had the sort of creative genius to catch them off the air and wrap them in gold tinted clouds to leave at your doorstep.

Would that I could put into words the way you make me feel with all the things that you are and do. I would tell you, in a greeting card sort of way, that you are “everything” and then be caught in a lie. You most definitely aren’t everything and THAT is what makes me fall in love with you over and over again.

I love you because you aren’t as annoying as a crying baby on an 18 hour flight. I love you because instead of publishing incriminating stories about me, you make poetry out of words as mundane as “nice”. I love you because you don’t treat me like a commodity, you make me feel like a beautiful, strong person with all the possibilities in the world available at my fingertips. I love you because you don’t let me believe that things are easy, you are realistic and even when things are difficult, you urge me to try. I love you because you don’t run away screaming everytime you see me, even if I’m dressed like Totoro and trying to scare the kids who come to play basketball. I love you for not owning a goddamn plane full of snakes because I would love those snakes more. (Yes, yes I would!)

But this is not romantic and the words that exist, they are out of my reach.

And so for right now, I hope the hearts say what I’m fumbling at.

Did my heart love

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.