A winter sunset in Köln
I have been keeping my move under wraps for many months – partly so as not to jinx it, and partly because I was so sure I would fail. But it has happened, and I am here.
My work situation had become unbearable, and while Bangkok was great and I loved that big city, it became quickly apparent that what both of us were looking for was a bit more stability. I never thought I’d be the one to say it, seeing as I moved countries every 2 years previously. However, it just struck me that there is more to life than being a slave to a corporate during my young and best years.
The result is this gamble.
I don’t really have a job, I’m not really a student, and I can’t really tell what the next year will look like. But, I am free from a job that affected my mental and physical health, I am closer to my partner’s family, and closer to my niece, the apple of my eye.
And while winter like this is something to get used to, I am now in a unique position to consider extraordinary what most people in the blogosphere consider normal. It’s interesting to watch people’s reactions when I call something regular “exotic”.
Like this warm reception I received when I first landed here.
For those who often look at social media feeds and wonder at the big adventure that is my life, I have this to say – it isn’t. It’s gut-wrenching and soul-crushing, you don’t really get to see the blood, sweat and tears that go behind a big move. It isn’t easy, it isn’t fairy-tale like. I have had to take big risks and giant leaps. But if there’s one piece of unsolicited advice I can give you, it is this – take those risks. You will look back on those gambles as the best times in your life.
I know I have waxed ad nauseum about how much I despise corporate life, and how desperate I have been for a change of scene. To everyone who would hear me, I have ranted about my unfortunate passport and the lack of opportunities being awarded to me because of it. And then Spotify came to Bangkok. How is this relevant?
I have been listening to a LOT of music because of it. Music I wouldn’t have even bothered listening to during those Spotify-without-VPN days. And in listening to all sorts of music, I realised that we have become so conditioned to find the negative in everything. This is our first reaction.
“Have you heard the new Harry Styles album?”, “EWWWWWWWWW, no way!”
“Have you had the new 7/11 draught beer?”, “Erm, I’m not insane”
We dismiss new experiences because it says on the internet that it’s shit. Reviews on the internet are king! Doing what’s popular is the norm.
And I discovered all this while listening to a song I wouldn’t listen to. Crazy, right?
I had the revelation that rather than moping and whining about how everything is horrible, how the world is awful, how life has set you up for failure, etc, I would focus on trying, on being proactive, of taking crazy gambles that may not work out. After all, there might be something you’d fall in love with when you do. You might find home.
These startling motivational quotes provided to me by my brain in conjunction with a popular music streaming app has now helped me look at things differently.
- I work in a country many people are trying to get into desperately. I’m already here, and I’ve made it.
- My passport is not the best, but it opens way more doors than a lot of my friends who happen to be born in places Mr Trump wouldn’t be able to place on a map.
- I have a family who loves and supports me no matter what crazy decisions I make (and trust me, I make some insane ones)
- I have friends who root for me when I need a boost, who tell me how it is when I need a dose of truth, who send me music to soothe my soul, and funny videos of late night talk show hosts when I need to rage and laugh at the same time.
- As much as I hate the politics of my workplace, I get paid to do what I’m good at doing. My parents have had to struggle their whole lives, and they still don’t get as many work benefits as I have been getting.
- I live and work in a foreign country – it helps me stay out of my comfort zone and discover something new and exciting every day.
- I am able to go on long holidays, and thanks to technology, able to connect to my niece every single day if I need to.
- The world is f&^ed up, but I am surrounded by good people both in person and on the interwebs. Your heart, your drive, your energy, your passion, your goodness – it drives me.
- I live in a world where I can cuddle with all sorts of animals, and deal with my allergies thanks to the wonder of science.
- I am a woman who can vote, save, earn big bucks, spend them all on movie tickets and useless stuff I don’t need, I am able to wear what I want, I am able to have my voice heard.
Life is good. All you have to do is flip the narrative and focus on everything that you have going for you. Listen without bias, and you just may discover joy.
Just take a photo at 6:00pm (18:00) on Halloween 2017!
N-N-1 is the brainchild of one of my best friends (say hi at Classical Gasbag), and a concept that immediately made me want to jump in.
The idea is for people from all over the world to take a photo on a particular day, at a certain time of that day, whatever timezone they are in.
I know, right? Crazy!
Basically, it’s a way for us to get out of the rut of the current global scenario, and to take a step out into this wonderful world that we are living in.
Barb (introduce yourself at The View From A Drawbridge) has graciously decided to host this edition of N-N-1. All you have to do is get clicking, and send your write up to Barb!
Can’t wait to see what we will uncover this time!
I must confess that I’m terrible at reading other people’s blogs. I tend to be too overwhelmed by writing my own every day. So every once in a while, I’ll go on a guilty binge read. A few months ago I was doing just that, with one of my favorite blogs, This Labyrinth I Roam, […]
via Become an N! (Trust me. You’ll Want To.) — The View from a Drawbridge